Team list announced

After a gruelling selection procedure, the ASS selectors have announced the following team to represent Australia at Dunoon:

First team (have booked travel):
Males:
Barry, T
Cahill, M
Fogarty, P
McLaren, C
Tse, J

Females:
Cahill, A
Carew, J
Carew, J (this could be a problem for team jerseys!)

Labruyere, R
McEwen, M
McKendrick, E

Support Staff (have booked travel but don't want to play - boo!):
Nixon, S

Reserves (might still make it):
Gligora, C



Football pundits have questioned the selection of such a young, inexperienced team. The selection committee stated that decisions were based solely on skill and fitness, wanting to choose a team that could achieve success at Dunoon, and continue to build on it in the future. The committee responded that the recent allegations of bribery and nepotism were completely unfounded.



Despite security fears, Prime Minister John Howard has given the team the all clear to travel to Scotland to compete.

Reuters

National Team In Tumult

Amid accusations of mis-management and feuding ethnic divisions, Swamp Soccer Australia have managed to scrounge together the funds to enter a team in the UK championship. The hopes of the nation will rest on the shoulders, buttocks and spleens of the mixed 'Australian Swamp Soccer Team' (think of the acronym on the shirt ; )

The final roster has yet to be decided, and it is still possible that boardroom machinations may prevent the team from competing, as QANTAS have refused to provide a free charter flight with on board masseuses, meaning stars like Harry Kewell have refused to participate. Kewell claims that his first duty is to compete for his club in the Champions League final. This has lead to a backlash from fans, questioning his loyalty to the national team and demanding that he "get his priorities straight!"

Reuters